


Ecclesiastes

by FawnoftheWoods



Series: Not Alone Anymore [25]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers as family, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 06:37:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18911566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FawnoftheWoods/pseuds/FawnoftheWoods
Summary: There is a time for everything.  A time to Laugh.  A time to mourn.  A time to celebrate.  A time to cry.How Steve Rogers Tells Tony Stark about Howard and Maria's death.Can be read alone or as a direct sequel toWe don't Leave Men Behind.





	Ecclesiastes

**Author's Note:**

> You can read this without the series. Minor points to know: Phil is alive and with the Avengers. The Avengers have been living together a while and started again right after SHIELD fell. Rhodey did some basic training with Steve a few stories back.
> 
> Hi Everyone! I'm posting this instead of Prophecy or Destiny this week because I'm still tweaking that chapter. I hope you like this!
> 
> Also Heads up: when the story is from Rhodey's perspective, his name is Jim.

Steve had been worrying about this for a while now.  Natasha had made him swear to talk to Tony about this.  Even Sam agreed it was better coming from Steve than anywhere else.  Or worse, after Tony had found Bucky, when everyone should be focused on Bucky’s recovery. 

The problem was, Steve wasn’t sure how exactly you recovered from this.

He had waited until Rhodes was en route to visit before he trudged downstairs to Tony.  Bruce was in the zen garden upstairs, so it was just the two of them.

“Hey Capsicle.  What’s up? I haven’t made any more progress on searching for your buddy yet.”  Tony was frowning at a circuit board under a magnifying glass. 

Steve rubbed a hand through his hair roughly.  He was never any good at these types of things.  That’s what Bucky was for. Steve felt a wince at the thought that Bucky would be better at this.   _ Right, leave it to the guy that was forced to kill Tony’s father, to handle telling Tony.  There’s no way that could end well _ .  

“Steve?”

“Tony, could I talk to you please.”  

Tony blinked at him in concern.  Eventually he turned and put his tools down and spun on his chair until they were facing each other.

“Okay, what’s going on, Steve?”

Steve bit his lip.  “I...Tony can…” The false starts were clearly making Tony more worried.  “When does Rhodes get here?”

Tony blinked in surprise, “J?”

“Col Rhodes’s ETA is 35 minutes.”

Tony snorted, “He took the armor.”

When he looked back at Steve with a raised eyebrow, Steve took a deep breath, “Okay, one other request, can you shut yourself out of the search for Bucky for the next 48 hours?”

“What?”  Tony’s voice went flat as Steve winced.

“Please, Tony.  Just...please?”

Tony stared at him hard.  What little lightness in his face had now disappeared.  Facing that head on, Steve could do this.  He could do this for Bucky. He could do this for Tony.  He could do this, because they needed him to.

Tony held his gaze for almost five minutes before in a soft voice, “JARVIS, lock me out of the search for Barnes.  Protocol Ecclesiastes3. Notify Pepper and Rhodey if needed.” 

Steve could tell then, Tony knew.  Tony knew that whatever Steve had to say, something would be wrong.  Tony would need help, and not from Steve.

“Alright, what is it?”

Steve reached up to toy with his tags.  It was a nervous habit after all this time.  “You followed Nat and my travels, right? Up to Camp Lehigh?”

Tony gave him a short nod, “What did you find in your old training ground that’s got you so spooked?”

“A Demon.”  Steve held his eyes, trying to show all the hate and fear Zola brought in his life.  Even more than the Red Skull, Steve hated Arnim Zola. “After the war,  what do you know about Operation Paperclip…?”

Tony frowned, “Operation Paperclip was a government program that used surviving Nazi intelligence resources for the allies, primarily in the US.  Scientist, engineers and technicians were brought from Germany to the United States to work under the guidelines of the US government.”

“And Zola was under SHIELD.”  Steve grimaced as he forced himself not to crush his tags.  “That monstrosity was so proud, so...so…” Steve couldn’t spit out an adjective bad enough.

Tony rose in his seat, but Steve glanced at him and Tony froze.  “He made himself a computer to store his mind.”

“He did what?  Like he pulled a Burkhardt?  Pohl’s story came true?!?”

Steve growled, “I don’t know that reference.”  Steve took a deep breath. “Anyway, he was the mastermind behind the targeting program for Insight.”

Tony nodded.  Steve blinked at him and he shrugged back, “Not great, but not the earth shattering stuff you would worry about telling me.  I’ll freak out about the creepy genius later.”

Steve chuckled wryly, holding back a slightly more hysterical reaction.  “Yeah. He...well, was trying ti distract us. Keep us there so he could blow us up.  So he talked. About HYDRA, about after the war, about a lot of stuff.”

Steve rubbed his hand through his hair, trying to determine if there was an easier way to do this, or a faster way.  He thought it would best be like a bandage.

“So he implied a certain event.  And Nat has confirmed that Bucky... they forced him to do this event.”

“Steve.  What is it?”

Steve looked at Tony sadly.

“Howard and Maria Stark were assassinated.”

* * *

Jim was making a lazy loop around the Lady Liberty before heading to Tony when JARVIS contacted him.

“Sir is in severe distress.  Your presence is required immediately.”

The second JARVIS started talking, Jim had turned towards the Tower.  For JARVIS to actually initiate communication was bad. The AI took the speak-only-when-spoken-to concept to an extreme.

“Talk to me JARVIS.  Where is he and what is he doing?”

“Sir is in the 85th floor lab.  Steve Rogers is still with him, though that may not be helping.  Although control of the full Iron Man suit is locked down, per Ecclesiastes3 Protocol, Sir has both gauntlets he was repairing them before this incident.”

“And the incident would be?”  Jim swung around for the opening to the lab proper.  The armor could disengage and stand by if necessary, he wanted in the lab.

“Steve Rogers explaining that the Winter Soldier, alias James Bucky Barnes, assassinated Howard and Maria Stark under the control of HYDRA.”

Jim could hear his own ears ring at that.  “Fuck.”

“Indeed.”

“What the hell is Rogers thinking?  Telling him without someone else there?”  

“Captain Rogers is currently trying to disarm Sir.”  JARVIS seemed to pause, “It is not going well.”

Jim snorted.  He could’ve figured that out without JARVIS’s commentary.  “Does Pepper know yet?”

“Negative, you were closer.”

Jim twisted to avoid searing anything important as he entered the lab and landed as gently as possible.  “Send her an update and let her know I'm here and will call when needed” The workshop was a mess. The nearest three work benches were cleared, rather violently judging by the piles on the ground.  He found his best friend screaming, indeed with two gauntlets on, and rolling away from Steve, who was brandishing what looked like part of a metal table as a shield.

Rogers took a flying leap at Tony and caught him in a bear hug, clearly trying to control the engineer’s movements and trying to speak to him at the same time.  Jim rolled his eyes. Had Rogers never delivered bad new before in his life?

He also could have told Rogers that Tony was impossible to hold like that.

Tony wriggled like an angry kitten when he put his mind to it, all those years of being a kidnapping target teaching him some vital survival skills.  When Tony got his hand twisted, he got a shot off at Steve’s head.

Rogers dodged, naturally, releasing Tony in the process and kicking the engineer.  Jim landed between them and caught Tony in a bear hug of his own, Launching them away from the supersoldier and using one hand to crush the glowing center of Tony's left gauntlet.  A shot from the other one had him flinching and Tony bunny-kicked himself away.

Jim huffed and rolled forward, targeting the other gauntlet.  Out of hte corner of his eye, he saw Steve raise his makeshift shield and prepare to charge again.  “Rogers out!”

“But-”

“NOW!”

His barked order finally had Rogers sprinting for the door and Tony predictably leaped at him, giving Jim the opening to take out the other repulser.  With the firepower disabled, Jim wrapped Tony in a metal hug again, this time more of a cradle and less of a restraining action.

He cocked his head to release the helmet and looked down at the feral cat in his arms.  Tony was always a wiry guy and he fought like one, all hissing and wriggling. But Jim had been wrestling the man for decades.  He’d wrestled the man high, drunk, screaming, crying, and angry.  This time Tony was at least 3 out of 5.

He dodged all but one of the head butts, groaning at Tony as the fluffy head of hair landed semi-solidly on his cheek, “Aww Tones, really?  The face?”

Tony simply growled at him.  With Steve no longer in view, Tony had turned his focus on the one who was.  Jim hoped Steve had the presence of mind to warn away any other visitors for a while, but he thought JARVIS had locked them down anyway.

“Easy, Tones.  Slow down.”

The cursing in his arms told him that Tony was still in pissed-as-hell mode.  But the gauntlet fists couldn’t hurt him and Jim was successfully dodging the head butts.  The kicks were not even worth mentioning.

“War Machine, Override, XOBFF-Return.”

Jim ignored the growl, hearing the beep in his armor that denied the access.  Ecclesiastes3 Protocol prevented certain access and used when Tony thought he might do something he’d regret and wanted to give himself time to vent before having actual responsibility.  Pepper and Jim had talked him into it after the birthday disaster with the armor.

Jim instead reached down and grabbed Tony’s left hand before he could hit the manual release with his gauntlets.  Tony twisted his own hand out of the gauntlet, but Jim didn’t mind being out of the armor as long as Tony didn’t have his fists wrapped in metal.

Jim adjusted his stance as the left leg released and opened the left hip plates.  He instead focused on removing the other gauntlet, letting Tony hit the other releases as they went.  He just knew he was going to get a “stripping” joke later from Tony for this.

Jim stepped out of the armor as he held Tony, who was just side punching him, and half-heartedly at that.  He was still not making a lot of sense, mostly half-started words. Bu the tone was morphing from anger into the more softer sadness.

Jim sank them to the floor as he remembered arriving at Stark Manor after Jarvis, the original, had called him to ask for his presence.  Tony had already moved into the sad, drunk stage of grieving by the time he’d arrived, but he’d climbed into the dusty corner of the workshop where his best friend was curled and stayed with him for hours, letting the younger engineer sob it out.

This Tony wasn’t sobbing, but Jim could hear his breath stutter as the man shuddered in his arms.  Jim scooted them back towards the sofa in the corner and leaned against it. DUM-E came over with that ratty blanket Tony had stolen from him all those years ago and never returned.  It lived in the workshop with DUM-E usually and Jim spared a moment to wonder why it hadn’t joined the rest of the Malibou mansion in the water.

“ _ He killed them. _ ”  

Jim looked down at Tony.  One fist had Jim’s uniform in a deathgrip, but otherwise, Tony seemed to be ragdolling it.  A deep sniff, told Jim that they were at least past the burst of anger. Now they were seesawing between sadness and cold anger.

“ _ He killed them.  Steve knew and he still asked- _ ”

Jim sighed, looking down as Tony took in a deep breath.  Tony would tell him as he was ready. Until then, Jim just sat there, waiting.  He’d spent a lot of his friendship with Tony waiting on the man. His patience with Tony’s antics was why Jarvis had liked him all those years ago.

“Steve said...* _ swallow* _ ...He said Zola told him.  And Natasha found the mission.”

Jim hummed and waited.  Tony wasn’t done exploding over this quite yet.

“Col Rhodes.  Captain Rogers is requesting an update?”  JARVIS’s dry voice told Jim how much JARVIS wanted to relay that message.  Jim growled.

“Tell Captain America that he can sit his own damn butt down and have some fucking patience.  I will give him a sitrep when I think he needs one. And when I get out of here, let him know that there is some serious sensitivity training in his fucking future.”

Tony, who’d tensed at JARVIS’s message, relaxed in his arms with a chuckle.  “I’d pay to see that right now.”

Jim huffed as he drew his best friend closer.  He started running his fingers through Tony’s fluffy hair, knowing it would calm the man down.  “The man could learn a bit about thinking before charging in.”

“He’d a good strategist.”

Jim snorted, “He has a head for strategy, there’s a difference.”  Jim let out a breath, and with it his irritation at Steve Rogers. He focus should be Tony right now.  “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

Tony shrugged.  They just sat there in silence for a while.

Jim leaned back.  “You remember that goldfish, what’s-his-name, Jerry?”

“Johnson.”

“Yeah, Johnson.  You won the damn thing at that carnival I dragged you to in your second year.”  Jim felt Tony nod into his chest, so he continued, “You handed it to me with this grumpy smile.  Told me you weren’t allowed pets so you were giving it to me.”

“I wasn’t grumpy.”  Tony mumbled into Jim’s chest.  

Jim grinned at his hair.  “Sure you were. You thought you were being all sneaky and giving me a present without saying so.”  Jim ignored Tony muttered denial. “I told you that since we lived together, it would be your pet too.”

Tony shrugged, still buried in Jim’s shirt.  Jim ran his fingers through Tony’s hair again.  “We spent four days trying to name it. You vetoed ever name I came up with.”

“That’s because they were crap names!  Why would a goldfish want to be called ‘ _ Spike _ ’?”  Tony looked up at him finally with a frown.

“I was so relieved when you finally named the bloody thing Johnson and was done with it.”  

Tony grumbled and lay his head back down.  He appeared to be resting comfortably more than hiding now.  

“I remember the day we found him.  He’d lived longer than I expected actually.  But you looked so upset so we spent the whole night watching every national geographic the library had on fish.  The next day you brought home that metal tomestone for him. Remember? You’d snuck it during some down time with the welder.”

Jim waited for Tony to nod before continuing.  “I hadn’t even realized I missed the damn fish until you gave me that.  I still have it, at Mama’s.”

Tony tensed and looked up at him.  Jim ruffled his hair gently. 

“It helped that you were there, Tones.  I’ve always wished I had been there when Stane told you about your parents, but at least Jarvis had been there.  He’d called me so I could come when he had to take care of things.”

Jim leaned forward and placed his forehead against Tony’s, “I should’ve been here, Tones.”

Tony stared at him for a while.  Jim let him process until Tony opened his mouth.  

“Thanks for being here, Rhodey.”

* * *

Steve paced back and forth on the floor.  JARVIS’s last message from Col Rhodes had conveyed a great deal of irritation, that Steve felt was misdirected.  It wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t Bucky’s fault. It was all HYDRA’s fault.

Steve glanced at the stairway again, but he knew JARVIS wouldn’t let him near the lab.  Rhodes had locked it down. So Steve resumed his pacing.

“Steve?” A tentative voice behind him grabbed his attention.  He glanced back at Bruce. “Do you...are you okay?”

Steve ran a hand through his hair again.  He didn’t want to shout at Bruce, the man hadn’t done anything wrong.  He took a deep breath, “Did you need something?”

Bruce stiffened before speaking quietly, “I was wondering if you knew why the lab was in lock down.”

Steve looked at the stairway again in frustration, “Tony is throwing a tantrum.  Rhodes thought it would be good if I made myself scarce.”

“Well, that explains JARVIS redirecting me.”  Clint dropped down next to them. “What set Tony off?”

Steve frowned at the door.  “Its...private. I- He’s blaming the wrong person.”

Clint frowned at him.  “If he’s reacting this badly, I doubt its going to remain private for long.”

Bruce frowned at him, but Steve burst out, “Its not Bucky’s fault!  Its all on HYDRA!”

Both men blinked at the supersoldier in surprise.  Bruce lifted his hands in placating fashion. “Okay, slow down Steve.  Let's start at the beginning.”

“Yeah, Tony’s pretty good at not blaming the wrong people, except when it comes to self-recrimination.  Then he’s an expert.” Clint rolled his eyes as he perched on the back of the sofa.

“Its not Bucky’s fault!”

“Steve!”  Bruce’s persistant voice broke through Steve’s thoughts.  “Tony isn’t blaming Barnes for anything he did as the Winter Soldier.  We started finding his missions and Tony’s already setting up for a legal defense and to help-”

“He killed Howard.”

Clint and Bruce froze.  Steve glared at them a moment, as if daring them to argue with him before returning to his pacing.

“Howard?  As in Howard Stark?”  Bruce asked slowly.

Clint stepped off the sofa as he reached out, “As in Tony’s father?”

Steve glared at them a moment before returning to glaring at the stairway door again.

Clint glanced at Bruce, who looked a bit sick to his stomach, before looking back at Steve, “I’m sure Tony won’t blame Barnes-”

“Its not Bucky’s fault!” 

Clint saw Bruce jump out of the corner of his eye, but his attention was focused on Steve.  “Steve?”

Steve looked at them in anger, “Its not!  Bucky wasn’t himself. They took him! They had him!  Its not his fault! You can’t blame Bucky! He wouldn’t have even... “  Steve broke off a moment before stealing himself. “Bucky’s innocent.”

Clint’s eyes narrowed at Steve as Bruce stepped forward, “Please tell me that’s not how to told Tony.”

Steve simply waved at the stairway.  Bruce sighed, “Steve…”

“Its not Bucky’s fault!”

“Its not your either.” Clint said softly.  Both men froze. Bruce looked at him in confusion as Steve seemed to be grappling with something.  “Steve, its not your fault.”

“I left him.” Steve croaked.  “He-he fell and I left him there.  They found him because I left him there.”

Bruce darted forward as Steve’s powerful body seem to utterly fall apart before their eyes.  He caught Steve’s shoulders as his knees hit the floor. Clint knelt next to him, taking some of his weight off the scientist.

“Steve, you thought he was dead.”

“I THOUGHT WRONG!”  Steve burst out, tear now rolling down his cheeks, ignored.  “He had my back for twenty years and I left him behind!”

Clint glanced up when the door opened for Phil and Natasha, back from their mission.  JARVIS must have given them a heads up because neither looked terribly surprised. Clint didn’t spare them a second glance, focusing again on his teammate.

“He was alone.  He had no back up when they found him because I abandoned him!”  Steve whipped himself out of their grip, “Don’t you get it!  _ I  _ did that!  I was his commanding officer.  And I...I…”

Phil stepped forward here.  “Steve…”

The sympathy seemed to be his undoing.  Steve sank to the floor, this time making it without interruption.  “Rhodes was right about me. I'm not a leader. I-I’m-I’m-”

“Human.”

Everyone glanced at Natasha.  She was watching him calmly, but Clint could see that the scene was getting to her.  “Steve, you’re human. Just like the rest of us. Just like I am. Just like he is.” Clint and Phil knew what it meant to Nat to admit that.  It had taken a lot of hard work and patience to draw this out of her. 

“He’s my brother.” 

Natasha knelt in front of Steve.  “And he’s my teacher.”

They stared at her in surprised silence.  Except Phil. Clint could see this was less a surprise to Phil.  Apparently she’d told him more about the Red Room than Clint’d guessed.

“They tried to make us perfect.  Their little killing machines. But we are human.  He is human, Steve.” 

Steve was staring at her.  Clint was having a hard time reading what was on his face under the tears.  Maybe Steve was having a hard time feeling it, too. 

“It was my fault.”

Phil shook his head, “No, its not.  Its HYDRA’s.” Steve looked at Phil, who was giving him a look of utter compassion.  “Steve, blame HYDRA. Or if you can’t yet, then blame the war. James Barnes is a POW.  Its not his commanding officer’s fault for not following a corpse into a ravine. Its not Barnes’s fault for surviving a fall.  And its neither of your faults for his reaction to being a POW. Lay that blame where it belongs, Steve.”

Steve sniffed sharply, “But how..how can I be sure?”

“That’s what the mission evaluation is for.”  No one had heard Col. Rhodes enter the room. They all looked at him, but he marched over to Steve.  “The military turns in mission reports and they are evaluated so that you can be sure. So that you can be told, ‘Even with the wrong outcome, it was your best choice.’”

Clint watched as Steve frowned at Col Rhodes.  “But I-”

“Was undertrained, mis-used and badly counselled.”  Col. Rhodes plowed over Steve’s unsure words. “You should have never been a commanding officer without training, your next of kin should have never ever been under your command and Col Phillips should have taken his hero worship glasses off long enough to give you counsel following the death of one of your men.”  Rhodes joined the kneeling circle around Steve. “But I’ve read the report and evaluation on the train mission and the finding was conclusive. Steve Rogers acted with the best command ability in choosing his men for the mission and in protecting their lives and the mission target. His actions are in no way responsible for the loss of Sergeant James Barnes.”

Clint could have hugged the colonel for that.  He hadn’t know there had been a report that survived to this day.  Suddenly he understood a lot better why Tony had trusted Rhodes to corral Steve into basic training.  Col Rhodes  _ was _ a trained commanding officer.  He  _ had _ mentored other military personnel.  This wasn’t just because he was Tony’s friend, he did have the experience to help.

Clint wrapped his arms around Steve’s shoulders as the supersoldier wiped his face with a large hand.  Eventually Steve looked at the ground, “So what  _ do _ I do?”

Nat placed a hand on Steve shoulder.  When he looked at her, she spoke, “You go get him now.  When we find him, and Tony will find him, we go get him and bring him home.”

* * *

Steve glanced at Rhodes’ profile from his seat at the counter.  The day had been a rollercoaster of a day. Bruce and Clint had joined Tony in the lab after Rhodes had appeared.  He’d asked them to Join Tony for a few hours watching Star Wars while he set up a few days leave. Since Rhodes was still in the room after completing those phone calls, Steve assumed there was another reason.

“You really need to review your manners, Rogers.”  Rhodes’s dry voice interrupted Steve’s contemplation of the man’s back. Col Rhodes turned to look at him. He said softly, “And you really need to start asking for help.”

Steve frowned.  “I _am_ asking for help from my team.  They’re looking for Bucky, I just wanted Tony to take a break after I told him.  I didn’t want him to do anything stupid.”

Col. Rhodes snorted.  “Tony Stark’s stupid is on its own level.”  he mused. Col Rhodes turned to look at Steve and sighed.  “Look, telling Tony about his parents like that was wrong. There is a reason the military has guidelines for this.  You need to learn to ask if someone knows a better way to do something before jumping in feet first.”

Steve glowered at Rhodes, “I did the best I could.  How was I to know there were rules?”

“You  _ ask _ .”  Col Rhodes glares at him a moment before Steve sees some of the rigid posture soften.  “Steve, we’ve learned a lot since the 40s about how to handle difficult situations. Shellshock is pretty accepted as a normal response to battle and is treated as such, diplomacy uses less lives and lasts longer than conflict solutions and emotions aren’t something you should hide from the light of day.  These aren’t things I made up when I had you listen to Dr Sampson. These are actual lessons we’ve learned. You need to learn them too.”

Steve looked away.  He was strong enough now to get things done, he didn’t need someone holding his hand.  Granted he’d been a bit off when he’d first woken up, but he’d improved a lot.

A stack of paper landed on the table in front of him.  “What’s this?”

“Homework.  You want to stay a Captain in the eyes of the military, you need to complete officer training.  It was slated to start next year when we had a curriculum for you, but I don’t think that’ll work around the Avenger’s commitment.  Instead, I’ve been putting together activities that represent different aspects of officer’s education: military customs and courtesies, military history, military traditions and culture, leadership, field exercises, drill and ceremonies, small arms training, and combatives.  Generally an officer has a four-year degree. Tony has made the case over the last year that _you_ have demonstrated exceptional ability and the situation, exceptional need. So you will receive the officer training from me and find a two-year degree to start towards. Tony has already agreed to fund it and we expect it to take a while, but we want you taking classes.”

Steve blinked at him.  He wasn’t sure where some of this was coming from.  “Have I made a serious error in my battle leadership?”

Col Rhodes frowned and shook his head, “Not to my knowledge, but then again the only complete reports we can read are Tony’s, which are technically focused and Barton and Romanoff’s, which are redacted half the time.  Your question earlier was valid, was the loss of life your fault. I can answer that because Col Phillips wrote a detailed report and it was evaluated. But I can’t answer that in many of the more recent battles because there are so few reports.  You are not doing yourself or your team any favors, Steve. These rules are in place for a reason.”

The man nodded at the papers, “That’s the Marine Casualty Assistance Program and ‘ _ Improving Unit Cohesion:  The First Step in Improving Marine Corps Infantry Battalion Capabilities _ ’ from the USMC.  Consider this your reprimand for handling your teammate poorly today.  I want those read and the salient points summarized by next week. I’ll have your next assignment by then.  We can talk more then about the education decision.”

Col Rhodes placed an arm on Steve’s shoulder, “I know this looks like a lot, but Steve, you can ask for help.  I’m here for you to ask. Clint and Natasha know the political and military guidelines. Phil understands the more social and unit-oriented information.  Tony and Bruce can help with the science and policy stuff.”

Steve looked at the title page of the Unit Cohesion paper morosely, “If Tony’s still talking to me.”

Col Rhodes snorted, “Tones can through all sorts of fits, but you have to really betray the guy before he stops being your friend.  I’d give him a day or two to process. I’m staying at least 72 hours. By the time I leave, he’ll be ready to punch all sorts of vengeance-driven holes in whatever of HYDRA is left.”

“You really think he knows its not Bucky’s fault?”

Col Rhodes sighed.  “Listen to me, there are two kinds of ‘faults’.  There’s legal, which Tony has already decided to fight on Barnes’s behalf.  And then there’s personal, and that will be on Barnes to reconcile. Tony can ‘recover’ all he wants, but until he can look Barnes in the eye, I doubt it’ll be completely resolved.”

Steve bit his lip, but Col Rhodes bumped his shoulder gently, “So stop bringing it up.  Tony will resolve this without you, and when your brother comes home, he may need that to resolve it within himself.  You’d be surprised just how helpful it is to face someone who’s suffered from something you feel guilty over. And if Barnes is anything like you describe him, he’ll be crushed under the weight of that guilt.”  Rhodes grinned, “Let them help each other, Steve. Trust them.”

And the thing was, Steve did trust them.  He trusted Tony to eventually do what was right and he trusted Bucky to want to do what was right.  

Long after Col Rhodes returned to the lab to spend a day with his best friend, long after the others wished him goodnight, but decided to stay in the common room to keep him company anyways, long after they’d all fallen asleep on the various cushions and sofas, Steve stared out the window.

He was trying to force himself to believe it would turn out okay.  He thought it to himself over and over again, just like his mother had taught him.  He used to think to himself, ‘I am strong and will make a difference’. Now the thought had changed, but his mother’s advice still rang true.  Tell yourself until you believe it.

_ My family will be whole again _

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on some unresolved issues in Civil War. Not only does Tony deserve to get told about his parents in a safe environment (serious MCU, mental health awareness!) but Steve gets support in dealing with what happened. I didn't like that MCU never gave Steve time to deal with not only Bucky's capture, but also the conflict of his best friend killing another friend. I poured a lot of my frustration about Civil War into this piece.
> 
> Also of note: The "I Thought Wrong!" back and forth came from Stargate SG1 and is by far my favorite response to someone trying to use the "It was natural to think..." as an excuse/explanation. It is a valid explanation, but it also feels like its minimalizing the feelings of the person instead of accepting them.
> 
> The two papers mentioned are real and easily found online. And all officers are required to have a 4-year degree BEFORE officer training in the US military. I don't think a 2-year night-classes degree is too much to ask of Captain America.
> 
> If I need to turn on the Character Death warning for dicussion about Howard and Maria's death, someone let me know.
> 
> All comments are moderated to deal with flames


End file.
